Everyone expects so much from me but yet it is so so wrong for me to expect anything from them. Just a simple lil matter of understanding and no one is willing to give it to me. I'm supposed to be everyone's best friend and understand their every need, joy, sorrow and accept their reasons without questioning. NEXT! I'm supposed to be the daugther that yeilds to everyone's whims and fancies at home. Lip service is not enough. I've to put in my strength, effort and heart into everything at home. THEN! I've to be everyone's verbal punching bag. Why won't anyone listen to me??!! JUST LISTEN! And maybe TRY to understand. I am human too. I am tired. But i can't rest. Everyone has the right to be angry, except for me. Everyone has the right to expect things from others, except for me. I am always the exception.
New Job, New Environment. Alienated??Maybe i am expecting a lil too much from myself. On Day 2 or 3 of starting work at my new company (Ladder Digital Enducation Corp.), I was expecting an overhual - a term which my dear lil one, Eve, used -. Unrealistic? Maybe. But i just want to get to where i plan to be at a very extremely fast rate. I have no patience with myself. Proving myself did not use to appear to be difficult until now. Why? This is a Chinese firm, opened by a taiwanese. Even the meetings and reports have to be in Mandarin. A difficult task for someone who is not very very extremely well versed in Chinese. Being fluent or slightly fluent does not help. I am at a lost. Moreover, at the end of my probation, there'll be a test on the company's profile and all. I am not sure if i will be able to pass this test or not. Tho there is still 2 1/2 mths to go till confirmation for me to read up as much as i can, i am still not confident.
The Future and A Lack in Cash FlowTo ease my cash flow problem, I have decided to take up 2 jobs. (Thinking of 3 but that is unrealistic. I am not single thus i am in no position to do that.) In fact, i am having 2 jobs now. Full time with Ladder and Part time/locum with Mount Alvernia (Mt A). Locum hours will be from 12nn till 9pm every Sunday. If they need me on Saturdays, i might even agree to it. Hmm..maybe i really can take up 3 jobs. Giving tuition at night, once or twice per week. But i guess i'll only teach Math or Science. I think i rather teach Science. Lost touch with tutoring Math some time ago. I will just have to see how things go.
Enjoying Life with My Dear Lil One and Only One, EveWatched Corrinne May in Concert at the Esplanade Concert Hall. Travelled all over the island looking for all the stalls stated in Makansutra and tried their food. Sourced for 'Dan Dan' to try so that we can successfully make it ourselves. Ate at nice restaurants like the recent one we went to - Out Of The Pan -. And the list goes on.
The Best thing that has ever happened to me - Eve.
-iWrote 9/05/2005 09:36:00 PM
